International Society for the Philosophy of Architecture » Ethics and Aesthetics of Architecture and the Environment
Saturday, October 17, 2015
HATE TRAINING: THE SHORT HISTORY OF MY VERY MILD DEPRESSION
First, there were the standardized tests.
That put thinking back in the box.
Then there was the stupid Pell grant that demanded I become liable for conscription in the military.
That seriously added to my stress.
There was also the concept of peer pressure blasted everywhere during the 1990's.
If it wasn't a story about brains blasted with drugs, it was a story about a police shooting,
a riot at a prison, or a demented psych experiment.
If got out of the military draft, I was dubbed 'crazy' cause that was one of the only ways
to get out of the military draft (or so I thought),
Whereas if I went to the military I had to shoot people.
And the police didn't seem all that different from that, if there were 'gang wars'.
The feelings were also artificially recorded when I saw images of angry drivers.
Although it might be a meme, it didn't look like a meme to me.
It looked like a way to behave.
Literally, the only thing to do around cars.
Otherwise, it was about bringing justice against hateful drivers.
And that was a headache in itself.
The drivers have no choice but to enter traffic,
presumably because of a job, etc.
Then 'accidents happen' and it blows up from there.
The videos about angry drivers did not help me to cope with stress.
By now you can see what my stress and mild depression have consisted of:
Blow up images of real life tauted as the highest functionality of sanity.
And don't tell me sanity doesn't have a function.
Even in the cozy boardroom, the boardroom is an illusion.
But as for happiness, I think it is achievable.
[Insert crazy religion here, or try to imagine an art gallery in which you have orgasms].