Wednesday, July 8, 2015

HOW I INVENTED ARTIFICIAL TREES (MAYBE)

As I entered a rest-stop, an engineer or architect bent near my ear:

Him: "Have any advice, just you and me? Like a professional to the common man?"

Me: "You should build a standardized sculpture at the entrance to every building."

Him: "And what should it look like?"

Me: "Pretty simple. But not too phallic, if you don't mind my saying".

Him: "Phallic?"

Me: "Not too much like a man's body part. Women don't like that."

Him: "They don't."

Me: "They just don't, I think. And it might bother men, too. Either way, most people don't like it... Instead, it should look like this..."

[I made a drawing on a piece of paper].



Me: "It might help if these sort of flange-like things are thicker at the bottom. That way they provide more structure.

Him: "So, the upper ones are skinny?"

Me: "Yeah, so it looks kind of like a futuristic skyscraper. It gets people thinking about the future! You can have a motto: 'thinking about the future' or something like that."

Him: "Hey, I like that! Paper always handy? Intellectual, huh?"

Me: "Kind of. Maybe you could say that. You know, the drawing anticipates skyscrapers! In the future there will be skyscrapers everywhere!"

Him: "No! Everywhere?"

Me: "Even here! And trees will grow on them."

Him: "Trees, monkey style?"

Me: "No, not monkey-style! Artificial trees that convert things into energy and oxygen."

Him: "And how will they do that?"

Me: "I don't know, it's up to the technologists. You know, they have thousands, maybe millions of patents, and not everyone knows everything."

Him: "Well, is that all? Pleasant to meet you. I'm Rick Conner [?].

Me: "My name is Nathan Coppedge, pleased to meet you."


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