Immortality and Calculus

How to pursue immortality according to the Calculus?

"Have a reason to be happy, and don't make mistakes."

Critique: 1. Wouldn't stroke be possible stressing out from making good choices? 2. How reasonable is it to know what is reasonable? Is calculus sufficient? 3. Is the world perfect enough to assure happiness? 4. Basically, summarizing the previous three, money, divinity, and some special attitude adjustment might be important.

Critique 2: 1. Metabolic immortality may not be impossible. A mixture of patient prediction and correct diet goes far. For example, not drinking coffee might avoid gallstones. Processing waste chemicals by concentrating them in the piss may be helpful. 2. Reason-to-be-happy may be self-fulfilling, like an-apple-a-day. 3. Avoiding alcohol and fatty foods may prevent fatty blood buildup in the brain that could cause stroke.

The original statement was based on 'centenarians don't tend to slip in the shower' and 'I can gain happiness by not scrubbing my head.'

A second statement based on 'pick a peach' and 'practice metabolic metaphysics' is: "Suck the juice out of life. Make it important."