Principles of Youth

I will take some time to elaborate my childhood commitments.

I glorify aspects of my existence for practical purposes, for example I exaggerate the role of classicism in defining my standard and or religious education (at the Unitarian Universalist Society), the justice of my location, and my own bodily appearance. I also don't find justice in the view that life is neither complex nor perfect. The result is the implication that classical ideas---archetypes, such as mathematics---are 'in play' no matter how I change my rhetorical stance. However, it is unselfish in the sense that I think these archetypes play a role in others' lives too.

Then I argue, where other people are communicative, they have absconded with some of the inner silence; they have, in some sense, decided that there was no decision to make. Yet I also argue, where gregariousness is attained gradually, or more naturally---without compromising---then that attainment has a kind of divine justice, which, at least, should serve the common good.

Although there has been some attention in my thought to archetypes and gregariousness (although I'm not gregarious), the primary principle I evolved was based on concepts of time. I had a belief or superstition very early, perhaps even before birth, that the source of my life was a golden age of consciousness, like a god, omniscience, or immortality. Later I thought that perhaps everyone is immortal, and the most foolish people are simply the most compromised immortals. This view seems pragmatic to me even when it isn't real---it raises the health of my metabolism. My first years were divided into epochal stages, which I made casual note of in my mind as they passed. The first age was a 'floating age' between 0 and 3, during which I decided that I was Death. The second age, between 3 and 9, I determined that I had a principle of immortal life, called age before youth. Between 9 and 22 I defined an ironic age in which I felt that the best principles were too subtle to manifest in life. I was devoted to secret projects which I could not communicate to other people, and which after all, I could not understand myself except in the most tenuous way. Every stage was a morphization, which elapsed beyond the rules of the previous stage. Previous rules were ostensibly rejected, but were still understood symbolically. Thus, the stage after Death, was Time. The stage after the principle of seeking immortality was the principle of surviving death. At 22 I began my meaningful or 'project' stage, devoted to creating meaning for other people and most directly, myself. I felt disillusioned by my lack of popularity, even though according to my previous principles real influence was hard to detect. There was a conflict between the real and the conceptual, which I traced to an immortal re-emergence of Cubism. If Cubism was abstract, it was also generic, and thus universal. My prospects of immortality still seemed to depend on virtual information which groped onto pieces of history.

Belatedly, I attempted to attach forms of classicism to my living practicum. I reasoned in several ways. 1. My obscurity was justified by a stealthy pursuit of survival, a kind of ninja legend. 2. The classical writings I produced represented immortal knowledge. 3. Relative to my resources, I had achieved something remarkable and exceptional, which according to principle would affect permanent influence.