Why are the pills colored black? To scare me away, or to reduce my resistance to harm that comes later down the road?
Why did I start to feel like someone from the scary movie Pi, when I only took one pill? This included mild hallucinations, an odd airy sensation, and ideas which were strange compared to normal.
Why did I drink much more caffeine than normal after taking the pill? Does the pill stimulate attraction to caffeine, in an effort to convince me to take more pills in an endless cycle?
Why did I find myself thinking incessantly of the pills even after I got rid of them? For instance, picturing large images of the pills in my mind?
Why did the vericose vein in my shoulder re-appear after a few hours, as though everything positive that happened was a result of the placebo effect?
Why did veins appear, rather than disappear, in several places on my body, for example, my upper arm and torso?
Why did the 'telomerase' supplement cause pleasure at all, if longevity was the aim of this supposed 'medication'?
Why hasn't (or has) the pill been officially approved by the FDA, and why isn't it prescribed by doctors?
Why is it sold by a suspicious shadow organization called 'such and such research laboratories'?
Why is the 'supplement' not available on Amazon merchandizers, or on Ebay?
In short, what prevents me from thinking that I was fooled into taking an illegal drug, when all I wanted was a little health and vitality?
I come away from this thinking: points for not giving me an artificial erection, but boy did you guys get this one wrong!
If you work for the company and are really doing honest business, I suggest looking over this list and seeing what you can improve. Otherwise, I just hope that the justice system knows how to deal with your kind of crooks in the future.
And just because most of the nation drinks coffee doesn't mean it belongs in everything from milk to breakfast cereal.