Saturday, April 25, 2015

Emotional Turbulence

I have been struggling with my pride and confidence in relation to my recent article published at, which has received some negative comments. Not much praise, but a lot of apparent encouragement to test and discover errors.

My mother and stepfather were having a secret meeting to discuss family issues, supposedly not related to me. They get really tense and angry, and I have a suspicion that they're debating the state of my intelligence. I think my mother thinks I'm a genius, but my stepfather thinks I'm an imbecile for thinking about perpetual motion machines.

Meanwhile, I had my last meeting with my recent therapist, in which she wanted me to express what my goals are for my future. So I spat out something about how I want to improve my sanity and possibly eventually go on a lower dose of medication, and she seemed non-plussed, which didn't seem good for me emotionally.

My father plans to have me visit him this summer, and I'm supposed to talk to my mother about it (even though I live on my own, I don't have a car to get to the airport), but she's been angry at me for eavesdropping on the conversation, and supposedly because I spend all the time at her house on the internet, and not acting like an animated actor from television, or a rich macho hockey player role model.

I also have the Ozy Genius Awards, which might give me a $10,000 grant to hire programmers to work on my corporate dream project. It would be a lot of extra work (the deadline is September), but is one of the few potential cards I've ever had towards developing real career potential.

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